Who knew the English countryside had so much to offer. I certainly didn’t. All I had known (or read) about the place was tea, bad weather and Mary Poppins. What I did not know where the amazing twisty countryside roads they have, which upon a recent purchase of a car have opened my eyes to 'B' road driving. The tiny two way roads are now seen as a challenge in my little blue Ford, and believe me it’s a little rev happy clunker. But most of all it’s the view from my drivers seat. Little green avenues and tunnels made with trees and suddenly the wide-open expanse of fields that stretch out to meet the sky on the horizon. These jaunts around the countryside have been made with the help of one charcoal happy bar b quer Henry ‘left hook’ Hayns, the charming cath’barty’ Baert and her trademark sunshades as well as one "lunges happy" barrel chested rupy. I have to admit, I have never had so many bar b qs or sweet corns in the space of two weeks.
I have a theory, that people from england being cooped up indoors for eleven months in a year due to bad weather and rain, forget how to be outside in the sun. I also think it might have something to do with being sober. Given that they drink to quell the depression caused by the bad weather throughout the year they sure do have a weird way of expressing their joy when they're out in the sun, although im not sure sneaking up on a cow with your arm out or trying to catwalk on a tree trunk on the middle of the river is my idea of being outdoorsy.
I also started Boxing with Henry and to be honest I thought to myself what so difficult about that. All you have to do is throw a few punches and just jump around a ring for two minutes. Not to mention the amount of women you can use the ‘oh im a professional boxer’ line. And if I’m brown that automatically qualifies me to be better than a white guy right? Well that was until I went into the ring with a crazed white fat woman from oxford. Not only did she start scaring me psychologically by giving me her ‘mean eyes’, she also went after me with both arms swinging. Which is where I started to run around the ring. And this is where the coach told me that id never get hit. And id never get to hit back either. God help the poor sod that mugs her. So if you ever come across two gentlemen in oxford who claim to be professional boxers, ill show you a guy who is so quick on his feet that when you turn off the light he can be in bed before it gets dark. Did I mention we also learnt how to talk trash here? Or was it trash talk….
